Monday, June 16, 2014

Lake Excursion

I've been planning for this weekend's lake excursion for a week and a half. My first reaction when invited was JOY!! I absolutely love the birthday girl and the whole group will be fun. Then.........reality set in. The invitation mentioned a boat and jet skis. Things that cannot be ridden on or in wearing jeans. Only one thing will work. I RSVP'd NO.

Seriously, I'm going, but panicking about what I'll wear. I own several very cute swimsuits that fit me. Two years ago! So, I went shopping yesterday and bought the first suit I tried on. It's official, I've given up. It fit, had a skirt and was fairly cute on the hanger. Now I'm trying to find the perfect cover up. I'm looking for something along the lines of a bathrobe, but with a sequin or two so everyone knows it's a swimsuit cover up. Looking online I've found only two varieties of cover ups. Useless and utilitarian. Useless: this includes cover ups made of sheer material, crocheted thingies and just a couple of strings that you wrap around yourself. If I could wear a sheer cover up, that would mean I like my body and I'd be showing it off. No need to cover up. The utilitarian borders more on the muumuu side. Voluminous waves of patterned nylon. Nylon. Now there's something that doesn't go well with heat.

On to beach towels. EVERYTHING we own is practical. Our beach towels. One is a freebie and the texture of horrible toilet paper and it's emblazoned with the logo of the company who gave it to us for free. I'm not even sure we have other beach towels. So, I was looking at beach towels today and dreaming of finding one that matches my new suit perfectly. I could just imagine myself arriving at the party in my adorable cover up, precious swimsuit, matching flip flops and beach towel with , and here's where it gets tricky, Rob.

Not only am I fretting about my wardrobe , I'm the only one concerned about Rob's. I asked him yesterday "Don't you need some new swim shorts". I asked him that because I don't know if it's a swim suit, board shorts, or what you are supposed to call them, because we NEVER buy them. His answer, of course, "No, I have the red ones". In related news, there will be a new exhibit at the Smithsonian this weekend featuring the world's oldest swim shorts. You guessed it, Rob's. They probably were red at one time, but when I sent a picture of them to the curator she said she was going to catalog them as "rust colored antique swim shorts".

Well, it's only Monday and I've searched in exactly one store for a cover up. If you need me this weekend, I'll be the one wearing a 2XL men's t-shirt over my swimsuit, carrying a bag overflowing with sunscreen and mismatched towels. I'll be with the guy in the rust colored shorts and the flip flops that are too big. Trust me, you won't miss us.

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