Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Declining a job (hypothetical since I haven't been offered one)

To Whom It May Concern:

While I’d like to thank you for the awesome opportunity to work for your amazing company, I feel I must decline. The pay is fair, considering I’d be doing a job that any well trained monkey could do, but the job itself seems to ....well, suck. Yes, that’s the word I’m looking for, it seems downright suckish.

I couldn’t help but notice, while sitting in your huge, well decorated lobby, that there are all sorts of classes offered throughout the day for employees! How fun However, when I learned that the position I was interviewing for required that I be “connected to the dialer” for at least 8 ½ hours of my shift, I wondered how exactly I could ever participate. During the interview I was also informed that your company has a FUN TEAM! Now, THAT is the position I should have applied for! Again, how am I going to drag my “dialer” to the fun functions?

Alas, I couldn’t see myself connected to the dialer with your fabulous company. In fact, all I could think when you mentioned “connected to the dialer” was “sitting on the sh*tter”. I know, crude, but I’m just telling you what came to mind. Neither the phone nor the toilet is appealing enough to make me want to spend 8 ½ hours a day connected to them.

Funtastically yours,