Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Ask a nurse

A funny thing happened when I became a nurse. Well, lots of funny things, but let's focus on one today. Suddenly, I'm viewed by friends, family and most strangers as an expert in all things medical. While shopping today, I ran into a former student whose son is a patient where I previously worked. I was greeted with a quick "hello" and then "Hey, I need to make an appointment for ___________." There are several problems with this statement, not the least of which is, I no longer work there! For the sake of argument, let's say I still do. Problem #2: I don't have an appointment book with me. Also, she describes a condition and says they were going to treat it "with that medicine that tastes real bad and you have to take it for 6 months". I think she was aiming for tinea corporis, a fungal infection of the skin, that is often treated with a foul tasting medicine taken for 3 months. To complicate matters, she throws in, "but doesn't eczema usually go away?".Of course there are no absolutes in medicine, but where did ECZEMA come from? She then proceeds to pull the kid over so she can show me his abdomen, which has 3 tiny pink dots on it. She explains, "OH, it's gotten better, but down here (points to groin area), this is just awful!" I'm positive I had a look of shock, awe and confusion on my face, so she wrapped it up by saying, "I just need to make him an appointment".

Wait? Wasn't that the 2nd statement out of your mouth 5 minutes ago? Well, thanks for sharing! If you need me, I'll be the one wearing dark sunglasses, a cap pulled really low on my head, and huge, non-descript clothes:)

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