The Lab

This is a REALLY old piece, written before I had MANY nieces and nephews.


We have a car full of toys, and no two-legged children. Most of the meals I consume are ordered at a drive-thru window, and clarified by the following, "a toy for a boy or a girl?" Having neither in the car, I answer with whatever comes to mind first. Having a nephew, I usually say "boy", and give him the toy later. Unless, I really like it, or think it would make a nice addition to the "toy tree" in my husband's office. I kid you not, they have a tree (fake, of course) with the likes of Steve Irwin and his alligator and "Jimmy the printer man" on it. Many of these objects d'art, I'm proud to say, are my contribution, but back to the drive thru.

I always feel bad about leaving leftover food, so I take it home and place it in the laboratory aka refrigerator. I wouldn't have this problem if adults were allowed to order from the kid's menu. Don't cringe! It's not that I'm a light eater, I just don't want to ruin my midnight snack by filling myself with a well-rounded meal earlier in the evening. However, since I only consume approximately one meal per month at home, the chances of well-rounded are slim. Luckily, my in-laws have us over for lunch every Sunday. I know they love us and enjoy the visits, but I think they may also worry that their son will succumb to vitamin deficiency if not for at least one good meal per week! Come to think of it, he has looked a little listless, and they were only gone last weekend.